Ethiopia Day 5

Our fifth day in Ethiopia was Saturday, April 10. We had the opportunity to visit the Yezelalem Minch ministry offices and their feeding program. Yezelalem Minch means 'everlasting spring' in Amharic. This is the ministry begun by our guest house hostess, Birtukan. She had a vision to help orphans and has been growing this ministry in her local community in Addis Ababa. As a child, she was sponsored through World Vision and was able to go to school and receive her education. She also told us how when she was dating, she looked for a man who shared her vision of helping orphans and when she met Nesibu, now her husband, he could see her passion for helping others. (Birtukan tells the story much better than I just did!)

Yezelalem Minch has grown from helping just a few children to feeding over 720 women and children each week. The feeding program happens in three different locations every Saturday. Programs include finding sponsors for children, training women to help them be able to support their families, providing a medical clinic, helping children without families to be paired with a family or other relatives (family preservation) and in some cases, helping children to find forever families through adoption. It was overwhelming to visit the feeding program. There were so, so many children! The day we visited, lunch was a bowl of soup and chunk of bread that looked like a sub roll. The children were very friendly and many wanted their photos to be taken by us. They shook hands with us and said, "Selam" and wanted to know our names. They may be poor in physical resources but their spirits are lively! I can't even find words to describe how humbling it was to be there. I kept thinking of Simon and what his life might have been like. Many of the children we saw that day are orphans living with extended family or neighbors -- a new way of thinking about "the village" to consider non-family members checking on children living by themselves in a house next door. The poverty was so prevalent yet we experienced so much joy being among the children. One little boy wanted Mark to take his photo over and over again -- I can still see his face as if it was just yesterday. I just can't describe what it was like to be there -- I know that neither Mark nor I will be the same again for what we saw that day.

Birtukan and Nesibu are amazing people. They have a heart for the people of their community and truly invest in the people. They hire people to help them with so many things -- cooking, cleaning, laundry, night security guard, babysitting -- just to provide more jobs. They are helping the poorest of the poor on a daily basis and it is humbling. Our goal is to help Yezelalem Minch with a yearly fundraiser. If you're reading this and are interested in sponsoring a child, please let me know and I can connect you to Yezelalem Minch.

Here are a few photos from our visit to the feeding program. I don't feel right about putting too many photos here of the children so here's just a taste of our visit. This first photo shows Nesibu on the right with the women who roast coffee and sell it to support their families. Believe me, it is FABULOUS coffee! We are savoring the coffee we brought home but if you'd like to try some, just say the word -- we'll share. : )

The little boy on the left is the boy who had Mark take his photo over and over again. He was very friendly and spoke English very well. And I love that the boy on the right is wearing a suit. He was more shy.

This is a photo of the food line. The women prepare and serve the meal, first to the children and then to each other. They were very busy!

We were mobbed like rock stars but it was a joy to shake the hands of so many friendly children. Many wanted to practice their English while we tried out our few Amharic words.

At this point in the trip, Simon only wanted to be held by Mark and he wanted to be held all the time. So Mark took all of his photos with one hand! See the boy on the left? I told you he was photographed a lot!

After visiting the feeding program, we returned to Morning Coffee Guest House for lunch -- traditional Ethiopian food -- delicious as usual! We were amazed to watch Simon eating with injera correctly AND, he hardly spilled anything on himself. He amazed us each day. After lunch, we took a nap with Simon. Then we had the opportunity to watch Birtukan make injera and doro wat. So cool! Here are a few photos of the injera:

And a few photos of Birtukan making doro wat. Mark took notes!

That same evening, we went to a cultural restaurant, Yod Abyssinia, to see dancing and eat from a common table. It was very fun! The dancing was high energy and fast moving. There was a quartet of musicians, too, which was so fun to see. We left Simon with a babysitter that Birtukan hired -- a school teacher from the local community. He cried for Mark, "Ababa," for about 30 minutes. Here are a few photos from the evening. Me and Mark on what turned out to be our last 'date night' -- still haven't been on a date since we're home!

Our guide for the week, Abel, taking part in the traditional hand washing before eating from the common table.

Our dinner! It was so delicious. And Mark was excited because it included a dish we saw on Bizarre Foods -- a kind of bread from the false banana tree.

And a few photos of the musicians, coffee ceremony and dancing:

When we returned to the guest house, I went in first and while Simon didn't come to me, he didn't cry when I picked him up and played with me a bit more while we were getting ready for bed. Hooray for progress! We laughed at him trying to put on his own shoes. We loved seeing what new trick he would imitate each day. Simon continued to wave hi, honked our noses, gave high-fives and smiled quite a bit for only knowing us five days. We had to keep working with him to not hit or bite -- tough lessons. We really missed him when were out at the cultural dinner and were glad that he seemed to miss us too!

County Fair

Taking a break from re-capping our time in Ethiopia to share some photos of Simon's second trip to the Tippecanoe County Fair. (He went to the fair with day care on Monday.) He loves animals so we knew he'd be excited to return to this 4-H fair. It was very hot and steamy outside so we kept the sippy cup close by.

It was two ride for the price of one night on the midway so we took Simon for his first merry-go-round ride and he LOVED it! When the horse started going up and down and we moved forward, he got the biggest grin on his face. It was truly priceless! I had so much fun riding with him that Mark took a turn, too. Pure joy.

And here's a little video clip of our ride ... Simon is such a sweetheart and didn't even fuss when we said all done. We love being parents, especially in the little moments! Making memories like this is sweeter than we ever could have imagined.

Ethiopia Day 4

This was the day we had been looking forward to -- Embassy Day! Friday, April 9th was our appointment with the US Embassy in Addis Ababa. We had to get up very early because the van was arriving at 7 a.m. to pick us up for our 8:30 a.m. appointment. The families with our agency were the first group to meet with US Immigration that day. We had to wait just a short time at the Embassy before our names were called. The interview took about 3-4 minutes. Simon looked so handsome in his 'dress-up' clothes! While we waited for all of the families in our group to be processed, the room continued to fill up with adoptive families and their children. It became rather noisy and lively! I think that the security guard must go home with the funniest stories of what the children and families did to keep themselves entertained while they wait.

We were really happy to have this step behind us. It really isn't something to worry about but it was nice to have that final stamp of approval. When we left the Embassy, Sisay and Abel took us on a short driving tour of Addis Ababa University. They have a John F. Kennedy library on campus, which was neat to see. The grounds and gardens are so beautiful.

From there, we went to lunch at the Addis Ababa Golf Club. It was a very nice country club with beautiful flowers and walking paths. Simon and Ashenafi had fun running around, exploring and playing. Lunch was very good and we were amazed at how inexpensive the food is.

Here is our family photo after our Embassy appointment.

Playing at the Country Club

A view of some of the flowers at the Country Club

Simon had a blast exploring the many paths -- he loved being outdoors!

After lunch, we returned to our respective guest houses for a nap and to relax. Later in the afternoon, we played outside and I blew lots of bubbles for Simon. He loves bubbles! Birtukan and Mimi made a delicious dinner of lamb wat, greenbeans and carrots, pasta, rolls and papaya for dessert.

After dinner, we gave Simon a bath and he had a huge meltdown. It was very clear that he was growing to love and trust Mark but I could hear grieving in his crying. He becomes inconsolable so we just sit with him and let him cry it out. I cried along with him. I wrote in my journal: "We love you so much, Simon Kebebe and would give you the world. We hope that you will love us, too, someday, and understand your story and our love for you. You are such a beautiful little boy! People are drawn to you. You are loved by so many people -- the Bethany staff, your nannies and people you haven't even met yet. You said your name a lot today. You waved and said "hi." You dance whenever you hear music. Your Daddy taught you to 'honk' our noses. You even started blowing kisses today. It was so hard to listen to you cry tonight. Our hope is that each day will get better."

Ethiopia Day 3

Our second night in Ethiopia with Simon did not go as well as our first night. About 3 to 4 hours after we put Simon down for the night, he woke up screaming. We tried to calm him down by picking him up, hugging him, consoling him ... everything our instincts told us to do. We assumed that he was probably scared because he woke up and didn't recognize where he was. But the more we tried to calm him down, the louder he screamed and the more he tried to get away from us. This went on for about 45 minutes to an hour. What we didn't know at the time was that he has night terrors so he wasn't even really awake and we were doing everything wrong! We learned after we returned to the US and could do some reading online, that with night terrors, you have to just let children cry it out by standing back, making sure they're safe (Simon rolled around, thrashed his arms, kicked his legs and arched his back.) It's a horrible thing to watch! This happened every night we were in Ethiopia and we kept trying to console him, hold him, etc. If only we had known then what we know now! (There's a lot of things we could say that about now that we're parents! It's like a veil has been lifted ... )

So we dealt with night terrors every night we were there, a few times since coming home. They are much shorter now that we know how to avoid them and can help Simon better when he does have one. But enough about that ... let's talk about the more fun parts of our trip.

Mark returned to the orphanage for a third trip with the final family who had arrived to meet their son. I stayed at the guest house with Simon. Mark was able to take photos for the waiting families and also helped with photos for the Else family. Simon was VERY excited to see Mark when he returned! He was becoming a Daddy's boy and loved to have Mark hold him. (still does!)

After they returned from the orphanage, we all went to our agency's Ethiopian headquarters. It was so nice to be able to see the place we had thought about so often. And, to finally put faces with the names we saw on our paperwork. During this visit to Bethany's offices, we paid our visa fee and got to meet with Simon's social worker and nurse. We were surprised to learn that everyone --all of the staff! -- knew Simon's name, Kebebe. It was amazing. I wrote in my journal that day, "Everyone knows your name and loves you! You are quite the charmer. We also realized that you can say your own name and do so often -- we just didn't realize it! You continue to delight us and entertain us. Kebebe, you are so smart and a good problem solver."

We had a nice visit with Simon's social worker and nurse. All of the staff, actually! We learned from your social worker Mahlet that had a nickname among the nannies and social workers: Sumoni, which means "little coin." A sumoni is a 25 cent birr coin. They told us that it is a term of endearment because you are such a tiny, loveable little boy. It was clear to us that Simon is loved by many in Ethiopia!

While at the Bethany offices, we were also able to shop for traditional clothing and other fabric products. Bethany supports a women's training program, helping local women learn how to sew and create the fabric products to sell so that they can help to support their families. We bought several outfits for Simon and a few gifts, too.

Two photos that I like of Simon while we were in the van driving to the Bethany office:

After each of the four families in our travel group had the opportunity to visit with the Bethany staff, we went to the Top View Restaurant for lunch. It has some of the best views of Addis Ababa. We ate lunch on an open air patio and it was lovely. Simon devoured a plate of rice and veggies. We could not believe how much he ate! Simon's eating patterns have improved a lot since we're home -- he had become more picky which is a good sign. This means that he trusts us to keep providing meals for him and he doesn't have to eat now in case there's not anything later. While we were in Ethiopia, he was out-eating me and Mark. We were beginning to think he had a hollow leg!

We spent a lot of time in the van that day ... there were just four families in our group but we were staying at three different guest houses. Not ideal but what we had to do to get around. We later returned to the guest house for the rest of the day/evening and just hung out. Simon really only wanted Mark to hold him on this day ... and that remained the same for the rest of the trip. You can kind of tell in this photo that the clothing we took for Simon was mostly too big. Poor guy! He could walk right out of those shorts.

And I just had to include this cute sunglasses photo. Do you see a pattern yet? Simon loves sunglasses. So far this summer, he has lost a pair and broken a pair and put countless fingerprints on the sunglasses we still have. : )

I wasn't able to be online much on Day 3 but I did get to respond with a short note to my parents.

Today, he wanted Mark only! He said his first word, Hi, and he dances to music. He also is learning eyes, ears, nose, hair, etc. He's doing really well for us. We also learned a few more words in Amharic and he listens to us better, too. He really is a sweetheart and you are going to love him! He sounds like Mason when he laughs. (Mason is our youngest nephew.)

So that's a re-cap of Day 3! I should also note that Mark and I were struggling with jet lag in addition to Simon keeping us awake with his night terrors. We were waking up for 2-3 hours, unable to sleep. It was so frustrating! But we continued to enjoy meeting many wonderful people and soaking up Ethiopia. Stay tuned for more!

Ethiopia Day 2

Our first night in Ethiopia with Simon went really well. He slept for 11 hours straight without waking up once! We couldn't believe it. We had hoped for a good sleeper but this was more than we ever dared to hope for! Looking back now, we know that he must have been mentally and emotionally exhausted from the transition that day because his sleeping habits have not been that good since.

Two more families had arrived on Tuesday evening and we were invited to return to the orphanage with them to meet their children. Both were infant girls. We were looking forward to returning so that we could look around a little bit more and learn more about Simon's life at the orphanage. We had also promised to take photos for two families who were waiting to travel to bring home their children. So off we went in the van back to the orphanage.

When we arrived and got out of the van, one of Simon's nannies came over to us and held out her arms to hold him. We knew that it would have been rude not to let her hold him so we did. She clearly loved him and was glad to see him one more time. When she handed Simon back to us, he had a huge meltdown. He was extremely upset and became inconsolable. I think that the whole experience confused him. I think that we had over estimated how attached he had become to us in such a short time. From following our agency's forum, we knew that others returned to the orphanage with their children to visit, for a good-bye ceremony, etc. so we really didn't hesitate to say that we would return with the other families.

Simon cried for about 30-40 minutes. We got back into the van so that we wouldn't continue to disrupt the flow of activities in the orphanage courtyard. Probably pointless because his screaming could be heard 3 blocks away, I'm sure. He was so upset with us that he even tried to get away from us by rolling under the van seats. Eventually, we caught his attention with cheerios, of all things. That cereal saved the day. It was an experience I hope to never repeat. All three of us were miserable -- two of us because we couldn't console our son and Simon because his world had been turned upside down.

Here are a few photos of the orphanage. This is the outside/courtyard area.


You can see that the women are using plastic swimming pools to do the laundry. I can't imagine how much laundry an orphanage of 75+ children produces each day!

And here's some of the laundry hanging on the line. Makes me appreciate my washer and dryer very much!

After our experience with returning to the orphanage, we spent the rest of the day at the guest house, playing and taking a nap. Simon calmed down quite a bit but took a long nap. The youngest son of our guest house hostess is a lively 3 year old. He started to teach us some words in Amharic, such as how to say "don't bite," "don't hit," "don't touch," and "good boy." All very helpful!

Later in the evening, after dinner, we traveled up the hill a ways to see a house that was for rent. Birtukan and Nesibu, our guest house owners, were considering renting it to open it as a new guest house. Their four children are growing an getting older and they would like to have more space for them by moving back into their home which was serving as the current guest house. The new location is quieter in terms of street traffic but we've since heard that the animal noise is greater. Right before we left Ethiopia, we learned that they did indeed decide to rent the new space and were working quickly to prepare it for families to stay there. The photo below shows a view of Mount Entoto, the highest point in Ethiopia, from the balcony of the new guest house.

Here is my e-mail to family and friends about our second day in Ethiopia:

Well, today has been tougher. We went back to the orphanage with some of the other families to meet their children and one of the nannies got excited to see Kebebe and took him from our arms. When we took him back from her, he had a meltdown for about 30-40 minutes -- he was really grieving. He's been more challenging today with pinching, hitting and biting, but he's also teething. Tonight, he only wants Mark. He is still eating like crazy -- I didn't know a child could open their mouth so wide.
It's an interesting country -- the people are warm and friendly. There are as many cars on the road as there are people walking. And goats! Oh my -- lots of goats and donkeys too.
Tomorrow, we meet with Kebebe's nurse and social worker. The last family just arrived and we are enjoying getting to know them.
OK -- must sign off while I can before I get cut off.
We're doing well and realizing how our busy toddler is going to get us into shape -- he keeps us moving!
Love, Wendi, Mark and Simon Kebebe

3 months with Simon

It's kind of hard to believe but three months ago today -- Tuesday, April 6, 2010 -- we met Simon Kebebe for the first time. What a surreal experience. Mark and I agree ... it seems like just yesterday and yet it kind of feels like it was years ago!

I don't know if you noticed or not, but I never really blogged about our trip. We came home exhausted from jet lag and the overall experience of being in Africa while also trying to keep up with a very busy 18 month old. But it was also a very emotional experience ... meeting Simon for the first time and truly feeling the 'weight' of becoming a parent; a parent to a very special little boy who probably won't remember his birth country and life before being with us if we don't keep those memories alive for him. And we take this very seriously and really want to help Simon stay connected to Ethiopia, at least as much or as little as he wants to throughout different times in his life.

We loved the people we met in Ethiopia. Abel our guide was incredible -- soft-spoken, kind, caring and ambitious. He helped us to learn about the Ethiopian culture, patiently answered our curious questions, helped us with Simon when we didn't understand what he was trying to communicate with us and simply helped to make our time in Ethiopia one we won't forget. Abel also showed us what it means to 'mirror' how Ethiopians talk with and treat one another ... intently listening, sharing quiet conversation and always showing respect to others. When our agency's ET program director told us to be mindful of how noisy and disrespectful Americans can be and to try to mirror Ethiopians in our interactions with others, we learned this from Abel and his quiet leadership. It was Abel who took us to meet Simon Kebebe and took all of the many wonderful photos that we have of our first meeting. We are indebted to him!

So without further delay ... I'm going to try to post about our time in Ethiopia over the next week or two. Now that we've been with Simon for three months, I think that I am ready emotionally to share about the trip. I want to re-visit our experiences so that I can help to keep the stories alive for Simon. He's growing and starting to talk more and more ... it won't be long until he's asking us questions, I'm sure.

We arrived in Ethiopia on Tuesday morning. Abel took us to our guest house so that we could shower, get settled and have some lunch. We were exhausted from the travel and the whirlwind time of getting out the door for our trip but also extremely excited -- and nervous -- to meet Simon.

The orphanage wasn't far from our guest house ... probably about 2 miles away behind the Home Depot. Seriously! Isn't that funny? That was our landmark to know that we were close. When we arrived, we were told that Kebebe had just woken up from his nap and it would be a few minutes until he was ready to meet us. Here's a photo of us waiting ... it was overwhelming to realize that he was just inside the door behind us!


Abel came and took us inside when Simon Kebebe was ready. He was sitting in a large room, off in a corner by himself but surrounded by a variety of little toys, along with the recordable story book we had sent him. In the corner opposite of him sat two of his nannies, both quietly crying and watching our every move. Simon kept his eyes on us for the most part but would glance over at the nannies too, probably wondering what on earth was going on. Later on, as Mark tried to get Simon to smile (and eventually he did smile!), he would glance at the nannies with his little lips tightly together trying not to smile -- almost as if he was looking to them to tell him it was ok to smile. Here's a photo of him sitting and waiting for us.

There was no formality nor a big fuss when we met Simon ... just us sitting on the floor, trying to inch closer and closer to him until I could finally pick him up. We took along bubbles, some blow-up beach balls and two little trucks. He held onto those trucks very tightly for most of the time we were in Ethiopia. After we played with him for about 20 minutes, we got up to leave. Both nannies gave him hugs and kisses before we left. It made me cry because I could see how much they loved him. Simon didn't really have a reaction ... I think that he was probably in shock about what was happening and showed no response.

When we returned to the guest house, we sat on our bed and played with some of the toys we brought. We owe a huge thank you to the Ponsler's for the little laptop that they gave to us as a gift. This helped to break the ice with Simon ... we got a few more smiles and a few little jibber-jabbers, too, though for the most part, he remained very serious.

You can see in the photo above that Simon is dressed in layers. It is our understanding that in Ethiopian culture, children are dressed in layers and very warmly for the first few years of their lives. We thought it was pretty warm that day, especially in our room at the guest house, so we took off his jean jacket. Simon didn't like that and it was that moment that we saw his emotions. His little lower lip stuck out and his pout turned into tears. His cries were coming from deep inside of him ... we know that he was grieving and scared. It made me cry too. And honestly, this was the one moment where I wondered if we were doing the right thing by taking him from everything he had ever known. We wanted Simon so badly but I felt so awful in that moment ... deeply sad for Simon and how he didn't choose to be in that moment like we did; sad that he was scared and I couldn't explain anything to him. I just held him until he calmed down.

Birtukan, the owner of our guest house, suggested that we should give Simon a bath and put on some of the clothing we brought for him. She said that this would help him to bond with us and signal to him that we would take care of him. Birtukan is the mother of four children, runs the Morning Coffee Guest House, and is the founder of Yezelalem Minch, a program that sponsors a weekly feeding program for over 720 women and children, an orphanage, a family preservation program, and a women's coffee cooperative. She is amazing! She has helped many families begin the bonding process with their new children.

Simon didn't like the bath tub AT ALL. He cried when Mark tried to sit him down in the tub. We later realized that he had probably only had showers/been hosed off in the past but we didn't know that at the time. After his bath, we dressed him in the romper that Mark picked-out the day we received our referral for Simon. Then we played on the bed again. Simon loved Mark's watch and bracelet and also carried them around for much of our time in ET. It's amazing he didn't lose them! Doesn't Simon look so small in this photo? He seems so much bigger to us now, even though he hasn't physically changed very much. I think it's probably because his personality is so much larger and livlier now!

After playing in our room for a time, we went outside to the guest house courtyard. Simon enjoyed exploring his new surroundings, playing with the blow-up beach balls and his trucks. He also liked to stand by the iron gate at the guest house and play with the knobs and handles. He let me hold him quite a bit, which I loved. His walking was good but his running was like controlled falling -- made this new Mama nervous! Overall, we felt pretty good about our first day together.

Here's an excerpt from my e-mail to family and friends from that day:

We had traditional ET food for dinner and it was delicious. Simon ate a ton! He would open his mouth and make a little noise when he wanted more. It was really cute! He esp. loved the spinach dish. He loves the little trucks we brought and he knows how to give high 5's. He likes to study everything and takes it all in. He calls me 'emma' which means 'caretaker'. Birtukan at our guest house is trying to help him call us mama and papa. Mark is currently changing his first diaper while I am sending this note! And then getting him into pjs. We feel pretty good about our first few hours with him. He's smiling more and more and babbling more and more. He is a sweetheart! We'll see how our first night goes.
We are falling in love with Simon and we hope he will continue to grow fond of us too. The electricity is out and we are running on battery power so I better go. Thank you for thinking of us!

So there you go ... like I said, we can't believe it's been three months already! I'll post more about our trip in the next few days.

Dress-up

Thank you, Debbie & Jim ... Simon loves to play dress up! We've never received quite so many injections and our hearts must be in good shape because Simon listens to them all the time. We *think* he realizes that we are people even though he is dressed as a vet ... oh well!

And thank you, Denise, for helping us to escape from Alcatraz. Never knew a hat could provide so much laughter!

Simon eats ice cream!

About a week ago, Simon actually tried ice cream and liked it! We couldn't believe it. He usually won't even touch the cold milk container if we put it in the shopping cart next to him so we really didn't think he would ever eat ice cream, or anything cold for that matter. But we were at a party in North Manchester and I think that the chocolate sauce is what first caught his eye. Simon is definitely taking after his Mommy in his love of chocolate!

So tonight we tried ice cream with him again and here's a little video of Simon eating ice cream ... watch for him to shiver when he gets cold. And I'm sorry if you get grossed out -- I think there's a part where he took too big of a bite and spits it back out. He learned that small bites, slow and steady is the way to go.

And I almost forgot! There's just a little bit of him singing his ABC's ... he just started doing that with Mark over the weekend. Yay!